Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
