I can tuck mytits in my pants
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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