i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
