my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
