i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
