i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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