when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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