i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
