The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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