hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
