i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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