did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
