Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
