I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
