Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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