I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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