I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
