i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
