so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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