I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
