It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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