pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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