i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
