Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
