There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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