Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
