I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
