I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
