my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
