Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
