I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
