I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
