I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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