Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
