When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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