OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize