And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
