Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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