I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
