Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm way too hungover for life right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
