This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks