I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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