things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize