Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
