Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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