There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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