Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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