id be glad to
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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