Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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