the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i out mim tonsoeep
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