three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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