that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
