Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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