i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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