what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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