I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
