yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My liver just had a heart attack.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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