i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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