Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
